Inside Out
Business Edition
"You can't change the direction of the wind. . .
but you can adjust your sails!"
--Jimmy Dean

Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC

www.Coachingforexcellence.biz
Kim@Coachingforexcellence.biz

To read our blog click here or go to www.coachingforexcellence.biz and click on "Blog" on the left hand navigation bar. Read some of Kim's musings and add some of your own!

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A Message from Kim

Hi Everyone,

I am very excited to be opening the Choice Coaching program in July. It is a coaching program based on Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory. It provides a road map for where to go when helping someone accomplish goals and overcome obstacles.

I am so excited to find this new way to serve people. Coaching is the wave of the future. Generation X and Y respond particularly well to coaching in the workplace. If you are a supervisor/manager and have Generation X and Generation Y supervisees, then you may be wondering why they don't respond to your supervision as well as Baby Boomers do. Coaching will help.

Coaching is also an excellent way for teachers to interact with students. The idea is to help people learn about themselves through self-evaluation and self-discovery learning. The coach is trained to ask a particular set of questions that lead to introspection and movement towards the person's goals.

Many Baby Boomers of retirement age and people who have been let go due to downsizing are turning to coaching to make a living. People with a particular skill set can use their expertise in a coaching capacity. Instead of the consulting model where the consultant has all the answers, coaches help people discover the answers themselves. Coaches provide just the right balance of support and challenge to help their clients move in the direction they want to go.

Many counselors and therapists are switching their counseling practice to coaching or are adding a coaching component to their practice. Coaching differs from counseling in that the clients generally do not have mental health diagnoses. They are goal-directed and simply need an accountability component to increase their odds of success.

Coaching is a skill many people are learning. Choice Coaching is a very effective method  of coaching. If coaching is something you are interested in learning, then come to our Introductory course being offered July 26 & 27 from 8:30 AM to 4:30 PM at Prairie State College - Matteson Center in Chicago's south suburbs. We are going to have a great time!

Make today the day you want it to be! 
                Unleash the power within you.

In This Issue

Feature Article
Ten Reason to become a Coach

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Basic Intensive Weeks in Reality Therapy

Quote of the Month

Book Review
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

Tip of the Month

Business Q&A

Products & Services

About Kim Olver

Ten Reasons to Become a Coach
by Kim Olver

Coaching is a field that’s been rapidly expanding over the past 15-20 years. It’s a profession many Baby Boomers and others are entering and it’s a supervision skill many managers and teachers are learning.

Coaching comes out of an understanding of human motivation. People are motivated by internal motivation, not external rewards and consequences. Much research has been done in this area. Yes, you can get people to work for external rewards but the research shows they often do worse.

People are motivated by understanding how what they are doing contributes to the whole. They want to do things that are interesting to them. They are motivated by doing things that are need-satisfying to them. People are motivated by safety, security; connection, relationships; power, importance, respect, significance; freedom, choices, independence; fun and learning.

People are not motivated by fear. Fear will cause many people to seek to avoid pain and the punisher but when they are left to their own devices, they will do what they are internally motivated to do. The best you can hope for with coercion is compliance. You won’t get quality, inspiration and creativity.

Coaching in the workplace helps people tap into their internal motivation. A coach helps people set goals, determine what quality looks like and supports the person on the path toward realizing those goals.

Life Coaching helps people who are seeking self-growth and development reach their personal goals. It is not like counseling because coaching is often done by phone with individuals without mental health concerns. Coaching works with healthy people looking to make positive change in their lives. It is very present oriented. Coaches do not delve into the past for explanations of behaviors. They take clients from where they are into the future to who they want to be.

In this way, coaches get hired similar to how people hire personal trainers for an exercise program. Coaches are hired for their knowledge. When their clients don’t know how to do something, coaches provide expertise in human motivation. When their clients lack confidence, coaches support and encourage. When clients are sabotaging themselves or waning in their enthusiasm, coaches challenge their clients to be their best.

Yes, people can accomplish their hopes and dreams without a professional coach but they can do it much faster with one.

Ten Reasons to Become a Coach:

1. You want to get the best from your employees or students.
2. You want to help people accomplish their hopes and dreams.
3. Your passion is helping others.
4. You know how to align your clients’ goals with their values and passions.
5. You are goal oriented and know how to help others accomplish theirs.
6. You want a flexible schedule.
7. You want to be your own boss and have your own business.
8. You want to work from your home and from anywhere you are in the world.
9. You have expertise and life experiences that will help others.
10. You see yourself as a lifelong learner

If you are interested in learning coaching skills, then look for a coaching program near you. Learning the skills of coaching will serve you throughout your life while you work with your clients, employees, students and even your own children.

Copyright © April 2010 Kim Olver. All rights reserved.

Kim Olver is a life, relationship, executive coach and an approved senior faculty member with the William Glasser Institute. Her new and exciting Choice Coaching program is based on Choice Theory®, the legendary work of Dr. William Glasser, which tells us that we have the power to affect change in our lives regardless of our circumstances and we bear personal responsibility for the choices we make. For more information, go to http://www.coachingforexcellence.biz/coachingschool.shtml

NOTICE: This article is free and can be copied and reproduced
as long as the copyright and bio is included at the bottom of the article

*Click Here to read some of Kim's other articles*

Upcoming Events

Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group
Second Tuesday of Every Month
Next Teleconference: May 11, 2010

The Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group is not a typical teleconference. This is an actual mastermind group. Members participate equally -- both giving to others and receiving suggestions for their own challenges and opportunities. Click on the link to learn more about IOE and how it can help you to open your heart, free your mind and transform your life.

Choice Coaching

July 26 & 27, 2010
8:30 a.m. -4:30 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

Learn why businesses are moving from the authoritarian approach in supervision to the collaborative coaching approach in this two-day class. Generation X and Y workers do not respond well to authoritarian supervision. Coaching provides a new model of supervision designed to reach those workers. Learn the psychology behind this supervision style and practice its use while receiving feedback.

Goal Setting & Attainment: Getting What You Want in 2010!

May 8 , 2010 -- 1;00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

You can attain your goals year after year with an effective, time-tested system —a plan with built-in support and accountability.  Attaining your goals requires hard work and determination.  You need to plan and make time to work on your goals.  They will not just happen.  This workshop will give you the strategies you need to make a plan and manage your time while still maintaining a positive attitude and staying motivated until you complete your goals. 

Upcoming Basic Intensive Weeks in Reality Therapy

July 26 - 29, 2010 - Matteson, IL
October 11 - 15, 2010 - Matteson, IL

The Basic Intensive Week in Choice Theory and Reality Therapy is a 4 day or 4½-day workshop where you will be exposed to some highly innovative ideas of Dr. William Glasser. You will learn the new psychology of personal freedom called Choice Theory. There is application in this workshop for teachers, school administrators, counselors, therapists, social workers, business managers, clergy, nurses, parents, and anyone interested in improving the quality of their life. You will learn how to empower yourself by distinguishing between those things you can control and those you can’t and focus your energy on those you can. There is practical advice about how to improve the important relationships in your life and how to become the person you want to be. This workshop helps you become more effective in counseling and teaching others, particularly those who may not even know they need your help—non-voluntary clients and less than enthusiastic students. The group size is kept small enough that you will receive individual attention and have plenty of time to have your questions answered.

Quote of the Month

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow."

—Ronald E. Osborn

Coaching is a great way to help yourself move beyond what you have already mastered. Sometimes you reach a peak of accomplishment that you can't seem to push beyond on your own. A coach can make the difference in helping you breakthrough self-imposed thresholds. Continue to grow and stretch to your utmost potential.

Book Review

The Big Leap
by Gay Hendricks

It takes quite a bit to get me really excited about a new book. I recommend many but every now and then, I read one that I think really makes a difference. The book I'm referring to is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

One of the things I talk to my clients about as it relates to accomplishing their goals and dreams is self-sabotage. Have you ever found yourself getting close to your goal and you blow it for no apparent reason?

You and your boyfriend/girlfriend are going along and things are great. Then something happens and you do something to sabotage the relationship? How about beginning a diet or exercise program? You are doing really well, losing weight, being consistent and then, just as you are getting regular compliments about how great you look, you just stop.

We do this in our careers too. I work with many first time authors who sail along writing their books until they get to about the last stage of the process and they abandon the project. Many of us are great at starting and fall short on the finishing.

Dr. Hendricks puts this subconscious sabotage into four categories in The Big Leap. He talks about how as young children we are unable to filter the truth of messages we receive from those we trust. Things we hear and believe become part of our subconsciousness that governs much of our behavior.

Dr. Hendricks has worked with many incredibly successful clients and still says he has never met someone who didn't have at least one form of this self-sabotage but he has never met someone with all four.

Here are the categories:

1. Feeling Fundamentally Flawed: "I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me."
2. Disloyalty and Abandonment: " I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people from my past."
3. Believing that More Success Brings a Bigger Burden: "I can't expand to my highest potential because I'd b an even bigger burden than I am now."
4. The Crime of Outshining: "I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine _____________________ and make him or her look or feel bad.

Click here to purchase this book

Tip of the Month

Coaching involves Socratic questioning techniques that lead the person being coached toward a deeper, honest and accurate self-evaluation. How do you accomplish that?

First of all you want to build rapport with your client. There are several ways to do this. In the case of coaching, you typically are already positioned as an expert, which sets the stage for rapport.

You do not tell your clients what to do. They are capable to determine their own direction, even if it's something about which you disagree. Remain completely nonjudgmental.

Later, you want to determine exactly what your clients want, with all its attached conflicts. You ask your clients to examine all their current behavior to assess what actions are helping and which are standing in the way of the goals they dentified.

Ask your clients to say out loud whether their current path will lead to what they want. If the answer is yes, then support and encourage your client. If the answer is no, then create a plan to move in the desired direction.

Check in on your client's process regularly. Never give an assignment you don't follow up on. Challenge whenever progress isn't made. Continue to align goals with values and support and encourage.

Business Q&A

Question: Working with sophomore girls who are embroiled in relation aggression (mean girls). I can help the target (victim) by choosing thinking and doing that removes them from being the target. But I'm at a loss with the queen bees who perpetrate the aggression to their followers using Facebook, Myspace, text and IM. Suggestions?

Answer: First, I would recommend a good book by Ken Pierce, The Dance of Bullying.

Next, I like to take the approach of empowering and strengthening the victim.

Then, I would work with the "mean girls" on what it is they really want when they engage in the behavior of bullying. They may be girls who feel they have no other power anywhere else in their lives. Of course, if this is the case, I'd be working with them on developing their on self-worth through power within options as opposed to powering over others. I would want to build empathy for the victim by asking them to imagine what it would be like to be targeted in that way.

But I suspect that even deeper is the need for Love & Belonging. If this is the case, I would want them to take a close look at whether the bullying is giving them the connections with others they really want. I'm sure they get some connection with their "followers" but is that really the type of connection they are seeking?

It's a tricky issue, especially when you don't know what need they are shooting for and they won't be quick to trust you with the information. I wish you well and if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

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