Inside Out
Business Edition
"You can't change the direction of the wind. . .
but you can adjust your sails!"
--Jimmy Dean

Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC

www.Coachingforexcellence.biz
Kim@Coachingforexcellence.biz

To read our blog click here or go to www.coachingforexcellence.biz and click on "Blog" on the left hand navigation bar. Read some of Kim's musings and add some of your own!

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A Message from Kim

Hi Everyone,

I know it's been some time since my last newsletter and I want to apologize for my negligence. I have been so absorbed in getting my book, Secrets of Happy Couples, finished and beginning the marketing that I have let other responsibilities go by the wayside.

To get you caught up with my news, we have several things happening. My book will be officially available on February 1st from Amazon.com. It can be preordered there now. I will be doing a lot of promotion from now until then and may be doing a book signing in your area. There is one scheduled for October 2, 2010 at the Hawley Public Library in Hawley, PA. I will be doing another one on October 9, 2010 at the Grand Traverse Academy in Traverse City Michigan, and another in Dublin Ireland on October 16, 2010. Email me for more specific information if you are interested.

We graduated our first group of InsideOut coaches through the Basic Training Level 1 in July. This was exciting. Congratulations Patrick Rice, Brian Malone, Ryan Davis and Emily Shea. It was a joy learning, growing and creating together.

I have been chosen as the Midwest Region's representative on the US Advisory Board to the William Glasser Institute. I am very excited about serving the people of the Midwest Region in 2011. We are having a conference October 8-9, 2010 in Traverse City, MI. For more information go to http://www.glassermidwest.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=68&Itemid=115. We are also planning a major conference in July in Chicago. Stay tuned for more details.

I will be doing the keynote conference for the European Conference of the William Glasser Institute on October 16, 2010 in Dublin, Ireland. The topic will be Secrets of Happy Couples. I am also doing two breakout sessions on Discipline and Diversity. Those of you in Europe, I hope to see you there. For more information, see http://www.wgii.ie.

I am extremely pleased with Cove Forge in Williamsburg, PA. They have created a mentoring program there where people who have been using the concepts of Choice Theory are mentoring those who just completed a Basic Training. They recently graduated their first mentoring group and I was able to see the high quality of the learning. It was incredible.

I am also very encouraged with Derby Public School District. They organized their third Basic Choice Theory Training in August. There were 14 people there and they are committed to using Choice Theory in their classrooms and schools. This will be great news for the students, faculty and the superintendent, Dr. Steven Tracy!

I would also like to encourage the faculty at Robichaud High School in Dearborn Heights, MI. Last year I had the opportunity to teach their athletic director, Vernon Crump, the concepts of Choice Theory. He liked it so much he wanted to offer it to his faculty so he arranged their very first Basic Choice Theory training for the faculty. It was a wonderful experience with dedicated teachers and a counselor.

We have our second week of InsideOut Coaching from November 1-5, 2010 and are offering a Basic Intensive Training concurrently. Join us if you can. You can register for both programs by clicking on the links. We are offering special pricing until October 1, 2010. You can either get $100 off or bring a friend for just $100.

Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart & 
                Transform Your Life!

In This Issue

Feature Article
Ten Steps to Non-Coercive Classroom Management

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Basic Intensive Weeks in Reality Therapy

Quote of the Month

Book Review
Change Your Thoughts--Change Your Life
by Wayne Dyer

Tip of the Month

Business Q&A

Products & Services

About Kim Olver

Ten Steps to Non-Coercive Classroom Management
by Kim Olver

As an instructor for the William Glasser Institute, I have taught many people over the years how to create a quality classroom. Sometimes I hear back from them that they implemented something from my workshop and it “didn’t work.” Upon further exploration, what is revealed is that sometimes teachers try to implement a technique without having the system in place. Implementing one part of system does not work. The entire system must be in place for optimum success.

The goal of most teachers is to educate students but have you noticed how few students actually want to learn is being taught? When you are working with non-voluntary learners, the following system is important.

1. Relationship, relationship, relationship. Make sure you connect with every member in your class. Know their name. Make pleasant conversation. Remember things about each student and ask about it later. Take the time to demonstrate an interest in their lives and who they are as a person.

2. Create opportunities for the students to know each other by engaging in teambuilding activities or games designed to learn more about each other. When people don’t get along, it’s often because they don’t know one another.

3. Attend to creating an environment where everyone, including the teacher, can get their five basic needs of survival, love & belonging, power, freedom, and fun met in a responsible way. Whenever behavior problems begin to crop up, the relationship and the environment are the first line of defense, not punishment for the student.

4. Co-create the structure of the classroom. In the beginning of the year, have a conversation with your students about what the guidelines will be in the class. Do this from a collaborative perspective of creating an environment that is safe, respectful and where learning can occur. Find the things everyone can agree upon. You are not micromanaging. You are not trying to control the behavior of your students. You are seeking agreement from everyone in the room. Students will want to be safe and respected. They also know that school is a learning institution so learning shouldn't be disrupted. They may not be engaged in the learning but as long as they can be disengaged without interfering with those who are learning, then it’s all right to appoint.

5. Classroom meeting are an integral part of a classroom management. In a class meeting, everyone is heard and respected. The class sits in a circle so everyone can see everyone and they are learning speaking and listening skills. Classroom meetings should never be used exclusively for discipline issues. Classroom meetings have a variety of purposes (see also my article on Classroom Meetings). When there is a problem in the classroom, the teacher may begin the discussion by recognizing the needs of the students, stating what he or she wants to happen and open the floor for the negotiation of how the teacher can accomplish the learning objective while the students can also meet their needs in a responsible manner.

6. The teacher constantly implements creative alternatives to punishment. Removal from the classroom is used as a last resource, only when the student is a danger or a persistent disruption to the learning process. One alternative might be a conversation after class to discuss the problem. Another could be a comfortable place in the back of the room where a student can opt to go if the student needs some time to collect themselves. Another might be a pass to go to the counselor or another adult the student can talk with.

7. Competency must be stressed in all classes. Students should not be passed simply because they have spent the time in class and achieved C or D level work. Every student needs to receive the message that he or she can master the material and achieve competent grades (at least a B). The child does not progress to the next level unless he or she has reached competency. Time is not the relevant factor; learning is. Yes, this means students will all be on different levels. It works when teachers give up the antiquated system of stand and deliver teaching. When students work together in small groups, then they can work at the level they need to, rather than where the class is “supposed” to be at that particular point in time. Many students have given up on learning because they have received the message that they can’t master the material.

8. Only ask your students to do useful learning. Teach students those things that are relevant to their reality. Find a way to link your curriculum to something that interests them. In the information age, your focus should be on teaching to access information, rather than memorizing it. When you have students work with information throughout the year, by the time testing rolls around, they will know the material without having had to memorize it.

9. Allow students the freedom to choose how they demonstrate their competency to you. Some may prefer tests, others oral report, others will write a rap, and others may create a play with the material. Keep your goal in mind—it’s learning, not a grade on a test. When students learn in this way, their scores on standardized testing improves.

10. Did I say how important the relationship is? Well, it bears repeating. If you can’t find something to like about a student, then you don’t yet know them well enough. Keep trying and never give up. You can make the difference!

Copyright © September 2010 Kim Olver. All rights reserved.

Kim Olver is a life, relationship, executive coach and the Midwest Region's representative on the US Advisory Board to the William Glasser Institute. Her new and exciting InsideOut Coaching program is based on Choice Theory®, the legendary work of Dr. William Glasser, which tells us that we have the power to affect change in our lives regardless of our circumstances and we bear personal responsibility for the choices we make. For more information, go to http://www.coachingforexcellence.biz/coachingschool.shtml

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Upcoming Events

Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group
Second Tuesday of Every Month
Next Teleconference: October 12, 2010

The Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group is not a typical teleconference. This is an actual mastermind group. Members participate equally -- both giving to others and receiving suggestions for their own challenges and opportunities. Click on the link to learn more about IOE and how it can help you to open your heart, free your mind and transform your life.

InsideOut Coaching Basic Training (Level 1)

November 1-5, 2010
8:30 a.m. -4:30 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

There are three instruction levels to InsideOut Coaching and two independent study periods.

Level One (33 hours) - Level One consists of four consecutive training days totally 27 hours. During this training, you will learn the theory behind InsideOut Empowerment, based on Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory. You will learn powerful coaching questions to help individuals do the self-evaluation necessary to accomplish their goals. Discover ways to recognize and move beyond self-sabotage. Learn techniques for working with non-voluntary clients. After this four-day training, you will return for six hours of instruction and the development of your independent study program. You tailor make your independent study based on what you most want to learn and focus on, in conjunction with the guidance of an InsideOut Instructor

Get Rid of Stress!

November 1, 2010 - 7:00 - 8:30 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

Learn how to reduce stress at home, on the job, and in everyday life. Topics discussed include proactivity versus reactivity and empowerment versus victimization. Students learn to focus on things and events under
their control or direct influence and about the stress reducers and pleasurable behavior activity to help ease stress.

Goal Setting & Attainment: Getting What You Want in 2011!

November 3, 2010 - 6:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

Learn how to attain goals with an effective time-tested system. Since attaining goals requires hard work and determination, this system provides built-in support and accountability. Learn how to identify goals, create a time management plan, and maintain balance in life while maintaining a positive attitude and staying motivated. Bring a guest for free.

Intro to Choice Theory: Why Do People Do What They Do?

November 1, 2010 - 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
Prairie State College, Matteson, IL

This workshop is ideal for teachers, counselors, social workers, psychologists, and school administrators. Dr. William Glasser’s new psychology of personal freedom, “Choice Theory,” is discussed. Choice Theory empowers people to change their lives personally and professionally by putting their energy into those things they have control over—their own behavior and thinking. Learn how to self-evaluate and help others self-evaluate the effectiveness of their choices. Identifying the fundamentals of choice therapy and interviewing clients using reality therapy are covered in this workshop.

Upcoming Basic Intensive Training in Choice Theory & Reality Therapy

November 1-5, 2010 - Matteson, IL
April 25-28, 2011- Matteson, IL

The Basic Intensive Training is a 3 or 4 day workshop where you will be exposed to some highly innovative ideas of Dr. William Glasser. You will learn the new psychology of personal freedom called Choice Theory. There is application in this workshop for teachers, school administrators, counselors, therapists, social workers, business managers, clergy, nurses, parents, and anyone interested in improving the quality of their life. You will learn how to empower yourself by distinguishing between those things you can control and those you can’t and focus your energy on those you can. There is practical advice about how to improve the important relationships in your life and how to become the person you want to be. This workshop helps you become more effective in counseling and teaching others, particularly those who may not even know they need your help—non-voluntary clients and less than enthusiastic students. The group size is kept small enough that you will receive individual attention and have plenty of time to have your questions answered.

Basic Practicum in Choice Theory
October 6, 2010
Derby Public Schools - Derby, CT

Call for details and times

Quote of the Month

"It would be nice if teachers had the time, or parents had the awareness or skill, to see the children as the very individual, very special beings that they are. So that rather than trying to drum them into one category, they are, instead, appreciating the special insight that each child brings to the sea of diversity and contrast which is the stuff that creation comes from."

Abraham-Hicks

Book Review

Change Your Thoughts--Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao
by Wayne Dyer

Dyer does it again! He is someone who is completely inspirational and spiritual to me. He examines the Tao and translates its meaning into understandable, insightful lessons for everyday life. This book is great for self-growth and development and also to help those of us in business. When we live our lives in accordance with the Tao's principles, then life will flow effortlessly. Changing your thoughts can, in fact, completely change your life.

Click here to purchase this book

Tip of the Month

Remember whose needs are paramount. When I ask the question whose needs are most important, the teacher's or the students', the answer is both and either. Both a teacher and his or her students' needs are equally important. A teacher who believe his or her needs are more important will not listen to what students want and need. The only thing important is compliance, curriculum, and classroom management. On the other hand, when a teacher believes the students' needs are more important than his or hers, that teacher will become a doormat for his or her students, allowing the classroom to become out of control. This teacher will have no expectations and an extremely permissive attitude.

When you, as the teacher, understand you and the students are co-creating an environment where both you and the students can get needs met, then you will be flexible while enforcing your non-negotiables of safety, respect and learning.

Business Q&A

Question: I took one of your Choice Theory weeks last summer and I am starting this school year in a new school. We created our rules the other day and I wrote underneath each of them what "little rules" it would include. I made a mini copy of each list on a Smartboard slide and then had each student come up one by one to sign their name. I'm printing them out and then hanging them up. I have one student that "won't" sign it though....he's not being a jerk about it. He thinks he won't follow them and doesn't want to sign it. I'm going to talk to his special ed. teacher or social skills teacher about this. It seems like he knows if he signs it then he HAS to follow them. Any suggestion?

Answer: It sounds like you're off to a good start. There is some tweaking I would suggest.

When I do rules, I only want there to be three. Maybe you have something you would add but the three main ones should be:

1. Safety
2. Respect
3. Don't disrupt other people's learning

The "little rules" as you called them would just be had in a discussion. You don't want students to feel like you are micromanaging. Have a larger discussion about what THEY would want your room to be like if everyone were safe. What would they want respect to look like? What does it look like if they aren't really into the learning but don't want to disturb others who are learning? You want THEM to tell you what they want. That way they have ownership in it. It's OK for you to say what you want but only as it relates to your job. "It's my job to keep you safe in here." "It's my job to ensure you are all respected and it's my job to teach." "Your job is to learn but I know sometimes you might not feel like it. I know I can't MAKE you learn when you don't want to. What I will tell you is that what I teach in here are things that will help you in lots of areas of your life. I want you to learn it. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are successful in here. All I ask is that if you aren't into learning at any particular time, that you find a way to check out without disrupting my teaching the rest of the students who want to learn."

Have those discussions. You will talk about the "little rules" during that time, only I wouldn't call them that. Seek agreement on the three big ones and have the class describe what they would look like. Then if you have problems down the road you can discuss them with the class as they occur. You will never be able to cover all the bases on your chart. They will think of things that aren't there and believe they have the right to do them because they aren't listed. If you only have the three rules then you can bring the behavior to the class and ask them. "OK let's talk about when someone takes a pen from someone's desk without asking. Is that respect? Do we need a rule about that or does everyone know that taking things that don't belong to you without permission is disrespect? What should you do if you have taken something from someone else? Any ideas?" Do you see how you actually gain more control that way?

I'd be curious to know if the kid who wouldn't sign it would be willing to sign a contract that only had the three general guidelines. I call them guidelines instead of rules to minimize the power a student would get from breaking it.

Let me know how things go. Thanks.

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